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A Big Shame

So what did I miss while I was on vacation last week? Well, I stepped into a grocery store and saw Kirstie Alley on the front cover of the National Enquirer looking heavier than ever. Yes, I considered the source and didn't buy the magazine, but this has been on my mind ever since. And since the Enquirer doesn't see fit to include any print articles on its Web site, here is a blog post regarding this story, followed up by several hilarious comments, including some imaginative poster names such as "Curly Fry."

But I'm not laughing, and I'm not going to diss on Kirstie. Even though I'm not a fan, she is a human being and must be going through some enormous pain (no pun intended!), whether she is aware of it or not. I just think it's a huge shame. Kirstie is clearly a role model for hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people around the world. So she takes goodness knows how much money from Jenny Craig, revitalizes her career, and then what...sends out a message that losing weight is impossible? I would assert the following:

• Yes, being thin is difficult, but...
• Being really obese or even morbidly obese is difficult as well
• It's mostly a head game (i.e., if you don't change your thought processes, you will remain overweight)
• It's mostly (i.e., 70%) about what you eat, and not about working out (and I love to work out)
• Americans are painfully ignorant about nutrition, and this ignorance permeates all economic and social classes
• Sure, it may be cheaper to eat crappy food like McDonald's, which could explain why lower income people are more disproportionately obese, but I think this is a cop-out as well.
• Why is it a cop out? Most of the major grocery chains offer private label frozen entrees that are reasonably good for you, and are dirt cheap. Safeway, for example, has its "Eating Right" line of frozen entrees. For Safeway card holders, these meals, which average around 300-350 calories each, are perpetually on sale for $2 each. Want to create your own Jenny Craig diet? Easy. Eat three of these entrees per day, plus a salad with tomatoes (yes, tomatoes!), a big fat apple, and a Balance Bar. Total calorie intake? Somewhere around 1500 calories per day. Most people will lose weight with this regimen. And they'll be incredibly bored. Tough shit. Oh, and total cost per day? Ten to eleven bucks per day. Oh, and don't forget the eight glasses of water. That would be good old fashioned tap water.
• Americans fill themselves with myths like having a slow versus a fast metabolism, having bad genes, etc. This isn't the case for most of us. What do I base this on? I'm old and have a lot of wisdom. Also, I read a great book a few years ago that I highly recommend, "The Volumetrics Weight Control Plan," by Barbara Rollins. Basic premise: a calorie is a calorie, and a calorie not burned is a calorie gained. Figure out your burn (Rollins offers a rough guide for doing so), and figure out your diet, preferably with bulky foods that increase satiety.
• I'm not sitting in the cheap seats here. I lost 40 pounds several years ago. So how did I become so heavy in the first place? Easy. My first job working in a company versus a PR firm, with its own cafeteria, had me eating bacon cheeseburgers and fries every day. My weight crept up to nearly 220 pounds, my waistline expanded to 38", and my blood pressure got too high.
• This issue is costing me and it's costing you. Every day and in every way. Your health insurance. Your taxes. Read the papers. Read the recent Time cover story regarding childhood obesity. 
• This is serious serious stuff. And I'm as serious as a heart attack regarding this post. I truly find this epidemic disturbing. Even in health conscious and affluent Incline Village, Nevada, I saw a noticeable increase in overweight people on the beach and in grocery stores compared to just a few years ago.
• And no, I'm not tired of reading about this stuff. How about you?

Surveying the Damage From the Celtics Win: No Shortage of Humor

I'll leave it to you to briefly surf the Web looking for the funniest quips regarding the hell-bent determinism of Boston Celtics fans to make a-holes of themselves by acting like buffoons and destroying property after their team won the first NBA championship in 22 years. In my mind, this is the most humorous post.

How to Be a Dude and Go to a Museum

Out of Touch

Do you remember that painfully awful "Hall & Oates" song from 1984 called "Out of Touch?" Well, John McCain gaining national press headlines regarding his intent to "call for building" 45 new nuclear reactors if elected President reveals a candidate who appears hopelessly out of touch. If this is seriously part of his platform, he will be massacred in November.

And JP in the East Bay, please don't send me hate email. You know I'm not a Dukakis chaser. I'm just calling it as I see it, and the way I see it, things don't look so good. For McCain.

Society of Professional Human Beings: Code of Ethics

Am I bitter? Much less so than I was last week. You see, last Tuesday I gave a VENDOR SPONSORED presentation at Enterprise 2.0 on behalf of my employer, Oracle. I didn't really want to give this presentation, but it was clear I wouldn't be edited very heavily by Management. And it got me a trip to Boston, where I grew up and lived before settling in the San Francisco area.

So after meeting with multiple product groups (I work on behalf of Oracle's on demand CRM products) and getting fairly intimidated, I spoke with a co-worker, who simply told me, "Be yourself, be authentic. Don't worry about the rest." And so the premise I went in with was that most line-of-business influencers are at the very beginning of thinking about how 2.0 plays a role in the Enterprise. Sure, this was to be the second Enterprise 2.0 event. But with an expected attendance of less than 1000 people, including exhibitors, and the fact that the show could be held in a hotel, we're still talking niche here...early days.

I built my presentation on a few simple pillars:
1) I wanted to keep it super simple and easily digestible
2) I wanted to draw in outside examples rather than hype Oracle products at every possible juncture
3) I didn't want to talk 'tech.' For one, it's beyond my ability to do so. And secondly, given that I was presenting at 2:15 p.m. in an overheated and crowded room, I didn't want to induce sleep.

My 'gut' was that people are looking for some very simple rules to follow in this new arena. Therefore what I basically did was orient my discussion around the possible rules one could follow as they figure out how to integrate 2.0 technologies into their organizations. Sure, there are some companies that are ahead of the curve. The Enterprise 2.0 conference featured many of these. But what about the much larger masses who haven't figured it out?

I thought the presentation was very well received. A lot of people complimented me afterwards. Heck, I still received compliments earlier today. Out of a full room filling 110 seats, about five people walked out early. But it turns out that three of those people were bloggers with a large following. And they busted my presentation from the very beginning, twittering that they hated the title of my presentation; what the heck was a product marketer doing giving the presentation; that I was trying too hard to be cool (as I mentioned in an earlier post); that what planet was I on to think that 2.0 was new; that they hated a visual I showed with a tag cloud featuring Oracle at the center (guilty as charged--I didn't like that visual either and shouldn't have shown it); that "Groundswell," a book I discussed briefly, was a 'fairy tale;' that my mention of Sam Lawrence's blog was a joke--everyone sucks up to him (P.S. here is a prior post regarding that blog--the sucking up started a few weeks ago); that my session was boring, putting them to sleep, and they were walking out--which they did, etc. I didn't know about this chatter until the evening after my presentation when the folks from the Enterprise 2.0 conference clued me in. And yes, my feelings were hurt. I'm way too thin skinned (of the "can dish it out but can't take it" variety). But I was also angry. I thought the twittering and subsequent blogging was immature and unprofessional. Ultimately, it turns out it was I who needed to learn a bit of a lesson. And I did. From quite a salty individual.

I saw the blogging ringmaster in a bar the following evening...a rather Bukowski-esque character who likes his pinot and his cigarettes. There he was standing right next to me, dropping F bombs every three seconds. I thrust my hand out and introduced myself to him. Man....he really didn't want to talk to me at all. But he did, for 20 or so begrudging minutes. I really wanted to not like this guy. But despite his drink, his swagger, his belligerence, his crudeness, his dislike of Oracle's policies toward bloggers, I liked him. Very direct, very plainspoken, very irreverent...with lots of cussing, he politely told me his criticisms weren't personal. The message behind the message was to get a thick skin and toughen the F up. I learned quite a bit in that short discussion and have learned more in reading his twitters and those of SOME of his peers. He was and is extremely smart and even a bit funny. Although I don't agree with some of his opinions, and although I don't aspire to his personal style or sour disposition, it works...for him! And I got the message.

I stand by my sentiment that these are early days. I think these bloggers are largely talking to themselves vis a vis the leading edge of 2.0. When I mentioned this to my swaggering bar companion, he was fairly tweaked, giving me multiple rationales why this wasn't the case. But I still think it is. And I also think that a few of his peers are ridiculously high ego, mainly a woman who attended a blogger dinner that Oracle paid for the night after my presentation at a nice steak restaurant in a private room called 'The Library,' who wanted to steal a book from the room to win a $10 bet with her friends. I offered her the 10 bucks, pulling out my George Castanza wad, which apparently ticked her off (hee hee hee). Or the tall blond woman and the guy with the Captain Crunch haircut who walked in when the dinner was virtually over, exchanged fake kisses with the existing guests, and tried to charge their food to the Oracle tab...unsuccessfully. I also have to take a critical blogger who works at SAP with a grain of salt, although other than crapping on me, he seems to be a really nice human being. He twitters often about how he is spending quality time with his three kids, which is endearing.

But at the end of the day it's like this...you see, the 'drag queens' of 2.0--as Oracle, Microsoft, IBM and OpenText were referred to by one blogger--we're actually the ones who pay for the party, the show, the food. We're the ones who have the mainstream customers --many of whom will be slow to adopt 2.0 customs. So give me some lipstick and a wig, honey. Cuz I am Martin Lawrence in "Big Momma's House."

But one thing I really took away: if you really want to 'get' 2.0, you've got to engage, you've got to participate, you've got to put yourself out there a bit. Because observing is the equivalent of sitting in the cheap seats. You'll get a crappy view, you'll miss most of the action, and you probably won't 'get it.' By the way, I'm not at all implying that I do, but I certainly am way ahead of where I was a week ago.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are my own, and do not reflect those of my employer.

Highlight from Enterprise 2.0 Boston Event Last Week

This video is one of the top five highlights coming out of last week's Enterprise 2.0 conference. A forum on why Enterprise 2.0 isn't catching on more quickly among enterprises, led by Andrew McAfee, was for me the #1 highlight.

And of course my vendor-paid (Oracle) presentation was a high point. Even though a few notable bloggers hated it and made great publicity over the fact I presented nothing new, was trying too hard to be cool...yadda yadda yadda, customers and prospects...the people I was really targeting, have gone out of their way in being extremely complimentary. I'll post more about my personal growth experience later this week. But meanwhle, enjoy this video.

Disclaimer: Views expressed in this posting are my own and do not reflect those of my employer.

A Tribute to Singing Beach

Here is a "review" of Singing Beach, north of Boston, that I posted on Yelp this morning...followed by a short video, of course...

My wife and I moved from Boston to the San Francisco Bay Area nearly 12 years ago. Other than family, there is a short list of things I miss about Boston. Don't get me wrong. It's a great place to live and be, but I really do enjoy the Bay Area. However, when it gets to be summer, I pine for a real beach experience and bona fide summer weather--hazy, hot, humid...with people bitching and room air conditioners wailing. We simply don't get this in my hood.

So on that very short list is Singing Beach. This was such the regular haunt for me that I typically made it up there on both days of the weekend. Back when gas was much cheaper I'd barrel up from Brighton/Brookline in my 78 Caprice Classic toating 150K miles or so on the odometer and rust stains larger than the painted surface...bombing up 93 to 128, and finding ever more inventive places to park my car. I'd also go up in the Winter to assess the storm damage, which occasionally was quite severe. I'd go up in the Fall to get depressed. And I'd go up in the Spring to count the days.

And so after 10 years of NOT getting to Singing Beach, it was a rare treat to be able to sneak away from my in-laws on an even more rare summertime visit to Boston and literally spend a high quality 95 minutes there yesterday. And what I can say is that the town of Manchester-by-the-Sea has not changed all that much. Sure, the restaurant by the Dunkin' Donuts has changed hands (as it used to every few years) and I don't remember Crosby's Market being so 'renovated' looking, but that could be a memory lapse. The beach itself is as hard and expensive to get to as always, and worth every penny.

Very clean, good people watching, beautiful scenery -- are the hallmarks of Singing Beach. And although short, it is a very good walking beach as well. Again, not much has changed. Facing the water, you've got your families on the left, younger folks with a bit of mixed family action in the middle, and a more predominant mix of same sex couples far to the right.

Fantastic beach and an indelible part of my post-college experience in Boston. This is one of my favorites...anywhere. BTW, if you're not commuter railing (which you should--nowadays the best way to get there), bring a bike and peddle around the area, particularly heading north toward Gloucester. Incredibly beautiful ocean vistas.

Let's Talk About Aimee Mann

It's troubling to me that Aimee Mann's brief career with Til Tuesday has forever cemented her reputation. Her subsequent solo career has been much longer and more prolific, and yet so much lower profile. IMHO she is one of the most talented and authentic 'adult alternative' female singers you'll hear anywhere. Her songs tend to be a bit of a doggie downer...We're not talking about a 'light' person. And yes, I've had a brush with Aimee. Back in the very early 90's at a bar called the Tam O'Shanter in Brookline, Massachusetts (long ago closed), I was drinking a black and tan and talking to the bartender. Aimee and a companion showed up at the bar, and my immediate and obnoxiously loud response to a question the bartender asked me was, "Hush hush! Voices carry!" Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon.

In any event, Ms. Mann's new CD is called "@#%&*! Smilers." I started listening to it last week on Rhapsody....and it is marvelous. Far be it from me to actually write a review of the CD. I'll leave that to the professionals. Although this reviewer at tinymixtapes.com only gave the effort 3.5 out of 5 stars, I'd say the narrative is close to dead on, and it is very positive.

Incidentally, keeping with a musical theme, "I think I'm goin' to Boston," so I'll be more subdued for the next week or so. Ambondanza!

Touch Me. I'm Viral!

So my wife just called and told me that the plumber who was supposed to install a new drain pipe for our washing machine has put a huge hole and an even larger crack in our kitchen wall. In the spirit of "serenity now," I'm writing a quick post rather than go home to face the music. Here goes...

I simply love this blog posting from a week ago. In his independently authored "Go Big Always" blog, Jive Software CMO Sam Lawrence calls BS on the concept of viral marketing, instead proclaiming that it's not about the virus, it's about the product. And that the product must be EXCELLENT indeed for people to want to adopt it ummmm....virally. One of my favorite things about this post is the quality of the responses. And yes, I did post a response but I assure you I am not talking about mine. Read this post, and then re-read it. And in my humble opinion if you want to see a hilarious commercial that pokes fun of the whole 2.0-blogging thing, go to the DIRECTV.com site here and scroll to the specific ad titled "Blog it Out." My wife and I saw this a few weeks ago...before Sam's post...before the new hole in our wall, and we were in stitches.